Notes on Dealing with Issues of Fear by Graham Bretherick
Back to Graham Bretherick resource page at nlife.ca
DEALING WITH ISSUES OF FEAR
Graham Bretherick
Introduction
I Identifying with fear
• we are fearful people — we pretend everything is alright but often it is not
• most of us live with a lot more fear than we are willing to acknowledge and we have
come to accept this anxiety as normal
• there is a deep fear in each of us of being rejected and abandoned
• when we think, talk or act, there seems to be many times when fear is present and
we are reacting to it even if we are not aware of it
• fear is often very subtle and can victimize us and control us without our awareness
• yet fear does not have to be our enemy if we begin to understand what fear is and why God has given us fear
II Defining fear
A. Basic definition
Fear - a feeling of alarm or disquiet caused by the expectation of danger, pain,
disaster or the like
• it could also be defined as a God-given gift to warn us of danger - Prov. 9 10
• fear signals danger and is therefore a necessity in our lives because all of us face danger
• fear, like pain, points to the source of danger or problem associated with danger
• our minds must interpret the danger in order to make use of the fear signal
• Luke 1 26-30
Anxiety - anxiety is defined in psychological terms as being "undefined fear"
• to deal with anxiety we must find the area of unknown fear that lies behind the anxiety
Worry -worry is the process of ruminating on our fears and anxieties —turning them over in our minds looking for our solution to the problem
• the Bible describes worry as sin because it excludes God from the process of solving the problem with faith — Rom. 14 23 Matt. 6 25
B. The power of fear
• those we fear have great power over us, whether people, things or institutions
• as long as we live in fear we are made to act, speak and think as slaves
• if we do not deal openly with our fears, they will turn into anger and our anger will
turn into hatred and hatred will eventually turn into violence
• however, fear loses much of its "power" once we demythologize it and begin to
understand its purpose and its process
C. Two types of fear
• there is the fear that works for us versus the fear that works against us and we must
learn to distinguish between these two types of fear
1. Positive fear
a) Warns us - warning signal for danger
• fear causes us to think and move quickly to save ourselves from potential
danger
• if we are intimidated by negative fear it can cause us to panic and in our panic we become irrational and self-destructive
• fear also warns us of potential danger by setting proper boundary lines
around us (e.g. don't go too close to the edge!)
b) Exposes our true values
• God has also placed fear in us to help us discover the values we hold
• the fear about losing that which we value is not the problem — the fear has
merely exposed what we truly value
• when we are truly afraid of losing something, the fear tells us just how
valuable that person or thing is to us
• sometimes it exposes in us that we have placed too high a value on
something and this needs to be re-evaluated.
2. Negative fear (the fear of fear) [Intimidation]
• negative fear usually kicks in when we don't have time to or don't know how
to analyse the data that our fear signals are picking up
• often we associate from the past, great danger or severe pain with the signal
and we are intimidated by it
a) Fear can immobilizes us
• we have had a very bad experience in our past in which we have vowed,
consciously or unconsciously, not to allow it to happen again and when the fear signals us, we become paralysed
b) Fear can imprisons us
• John 20 19 tells us that the disciples were locked in a room (imprisoned)
because of fear that the Jews would kill them like they did Jesus
• this type of fear is based on a lie, which we have come to believe, that
threatens us with danger as we perceive it
III Understanding the power of positive fear
A. Making fear work for us
1. Identify what we are afraid of
• what is the danger to us? — is it real, potential or perceived danger?
• if it is real danger, then we must pay attention to the signal and change our
course of action
• if it is potential danger, then we must see what changes we need to make to adjust the direction we are going
• if it is perceived danger then it is not real danger to us even though it feels like
real danger
• are we believing a lie about something that is causing us to think that this
danger is real to us when it is not?
2. Plan small steps to face our fear
• if we are facing real danger then we want to ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom to
know what we need to do to avoid the danger
• in the case of potential danger, God has given us a warning signal to get us
on to a new direction
• if it is perceived danger we may need help from someone objective to find
out what the lie is that we are believing
• when we have lived with the lie too long, it is woven into the fabric of our
belief system as ‘truth’ and it is difficult for us to discern the real truth
• steps out • identify the lie we have been believing
• if the lie has become a stronghold, the stronghold needs to be broken
• begin to believe the truth
• when we fall back into the lie — confess, repent & obey
3. Use anger to motivate
• fear or anxiety will often touch the “anger button” in us and we find ourselves
responding with some anger expression toward the object of our fear
• since anger is a form of energy it can be used to motivate us or energize us to
confront the very person or thing we are afraid of
• fear, on the other hand, will often cause us to pull away from the person or
thing feared which gives them or it power over us
• anger that is controlled can give us power to face our fears or enemies
• but for anger to help us confront our fears we need to stop being “afraid of fear”
4. Change the way we think about fear
• negative fear intimidates us—we are afraid of fear itself which Satan knows
• what we need is an entirely different perspective of fear — Mark 435-41
• the disciples had a new revelation of the power and awesomeness of the Son of God through their fear
• when we fear the enemy in the storm more than we fear the God of the
universe we actually offer worship to the enemy instead of to God
• fear was designed by God to draw us to Himself and increase our trust in Him
5. Develop faith through the fear of the Lord
• the primary Greek word for the fear of the Lord is ‘phobos’, the same word
used in Mark 4 to describe the disciples' fear
• we need a revelation that all fear comes from the ‘fear of the Lord’ because when we are focused on the ‘fear of the Lord’, we will fear nothing else
• that kind of fear turns into an absolute faith and trust in an awesome God
6. How does the fear of the Lord turn weakness into strength?
• fear will expose our true values
• sometimes those values we possess are really weaknesses in our personality or behaviours that God wants to show us so He can change them in us
• when fear exposes our weaknesses, rather than hide from them, we can begin
to turn those weaknesses over to God for Him to perfect His power in us
• if we keep our weaknesses bottled up in our unconscious minds, we have no means by which to cooperate with God in the changing process
• Acts 4 8-13
• the crucifixion of Jesus had taken these men to the end of themselves and their
fear had exposed their weaknesses
• at the cross they were emptied of any self ability and left desolated, afraid and disheartened
• it is always more difficult for God to empty us than to fill us
• the hard work in our lives is the work of the cross to empty us of ‘self’
• boldness and courage are only possible when we have been stripped of our self-sufficiency because we have been confronted with the cross and the fear
of God and have fallen prostrate before Him
• if we claim to be without fear we deceive ourselves
• where we live in denial, we do not have truth and if we do not have truth we
do not have God functioning in that area of our lives
• repressed emotions are never neutral; they are busy destroying our lives, even
if we are not aware of it
• the key to turning weakness into strength is to begin by being honest with God and with ourselves about our fears and in so doing open the door to a new
level of healing
IV Understanding the power of negative fear
A. What do we fear?
• in psychological terms negative fears are called phobias
• phobias are intense unrealistic fears that cause an individual to avoid the fear or be very uncomfortable around it
• there are three general categories of phobias
1. Simple phobias
• these are the least disruptive of the phobias; everybody has some
• these fears usually only create a problem if the phobia is confronted regularly in daily living
2. Social phobias
• extreme fear of social interactions, particularly with strangers, or groups, or people in authority
• a fear of performing certain actions when exposed to the scrutiny of others
3. Agoraphobias
• a fear of entering unfamiliar situations or circumstances
• more specifically, this phobia involves the fear of being alone or being in public places and not being able to escape from perceived dangers
• here are some samples of specific types of phobias
-Acrophobia - fear of heights
-Claustrophobia - fear of closed places
-Nyctophobia - fear of darkness
-Pathophobia - fear of disease
-Xenophobia - fear of strangers
-Zoophobia - fear of animals
-Acarophobia - fear of itching
-Zemmiphobia - fear of the great mole rat
-Nictophobia - fear of backing into door knobs
• the key to dealing with our negative fears is to look for the root fears in us and understand what the Word of God says about dealing with each of them
B. Three general categories of things we fear
1. Rejection
• the single greatest fear that all human beings have is rejection
• the most basic need we have is to be loved and accepted
• because we fear being rejected for what is hidden within us we build walls to
keep people from really knowing us
• fear makes us either run away from each other or cling to each other in
desperation
2. Insignificance
• we fear our limitations and imagine that everybody is keenly aware of how
insignificant we are
• or we compare ourselves with others, usually matching our weaknesses with
their strengths and feel insignificant because we believe we are inferior
• the lie of insignificance is a result of spiritual wounding because the God in us
is a creative Spirit always expressing Himself in new life
• however, sometimes to compensate for the fear of insignificance we try to be
over-productive
• when productivity is our main way of overcoming self-doubt, we are extremely
vulnerable to rejection and criticism
• whether we are driven by fear to be under-productive or over-productive we see
that both are signs that we doubt our ability to live fruitful lives
3. Meaninglessness
• the fear of meaninglessness can keep us c1inging to the familiar place or make us dissipate ourselves aimlessly
• routine induces a sense of sameness and familiarity which helps to temporarily alleviate our fear of thinking life is meaningless
• some routines take the form of elaborate rituals which when broken, produce great anxiety
• not all routines are expressions of fear; some are very helpful in ordering life
• many of us are willing to sacrifice freedom for security and will tolerate highly structured environments to avoid our fear of feeling meaningless
• fear can not only lead to routine behaviour but also to the opposite: aimlessness
• in our meaningless lives, we can become wanderers who go from one place to another without direction or goals
V Overcoming negative fear
I John 4 16,18 “…there is no fear in love”
• “perfect love casts out fear” - key phrase
• unconditional love brings true security
• fear is the characteristic emotion of someone who expects to be punished
• those things or people we fear have great power over us
• 2 Tim. 1 7 - God has not given us a spirit of negative fear (cowardice), it is the
enemy who does this
• God gives us 1. power — to overcome the danger we are facing
2. love — secure place to fight from
3. sound mind — ability to see the truth and fight the enemy's lies
A. Overcoming our fears with love - John 15 12-13
• in the context of this Scripture, the disciples are about to go through a time of great
loss and great fear
• everything we fear (in a negative sense) has to do with loss
• love replaces the fear of loss
1. Friendship Intimacy - John 15 14-16 (deals with the fear of rejection)
a) God initiates and sustains friendship and intimacy with us
b) He lets us in on the secrets of His Kingdom
c) He makes provision for everything we need
2. Fruitfulness - John 15 5-8 (deals with the fear of insignificance)
a) we wi11 bear fruit out of our friendship with Jesus
b) we can risk asking God for things that line up with His purposes
c) we will reflect the significance of the glory of God
3. Fulfillment - John 15 9-11 (deals with the fear of meaninglessness)
a) remaining in God's love becomes our number one pre-occupation
b) obedience, born out of love, gives direction and meaning to our lives
c) the joy of God is the sustaining fruit of fulfillment
B. Turning fear into faith - Psalm 34
• the issue of fear is a common one for David in the Psalms (who was often running for his life) and Psalm 34 in particular deals with this theme of fear
• in this Psalm, David by the Holy Spirit, teaches us how to turn our fears into faith
• background to this Psalm is found in I Samuel 21
• David was hiding in a cave, frustrated, discouraged and scared to death
1. Learning to fear the Lord
• if we fear the wrong things, we become slaves of the things we fear but if we fear God we will experience fear as a friend, not an enemy
• fearing God will cause us to look to Him for our needs to be met and cause us to be obedient to what He asks us to do
• fearing God actually sets us free from all our other fears
• after sharing his experiences of fear in v. 1-10, David says in v. 11 that he will teach us the fear of the Lord
• v.12 tells us that David sees each day as an adventure, a challenge for God’s creative potential in us
• those who fear God have nothing else to fear — life is an adventure
• David expresses 2 things to be aware of:
a) Guard your tongue – Psa. 34 13
• when we are afraid our first reaction is to grumble, complain, blame, lash out or become manipulative
• the tongue tells us what’s in our hearts — James 3 5-8; Matt. 12 33-34
• when we grumble or complain our tongues tell us that our hearts are not truly trusting the Lord
b) Guard your behaviour – Psa. 34 14
• we are responsible for our behaviour because all behaviour is the result of choices we make
• when we worry, we usually behave in evil, anxious ways
• when we trust God, we operate in peace
• it is our fear or awe of God that causes us to make choices that result in righteous behaviour
• Psa. 34 15-16,17-18,19-20 state three principles of truth which we must choose to believe as truth or reject in favour of believing our circumstances over God
• fear is turned into faith when we choose to believe God’s truth in the midst of our circumstances
• always the choice is: who do we believe, God or the enemy?
2. Steps to growing in faith
Step 1 - Learn to declare His praise - Psa. 34 1-3
• David dealt with his fears and expressed them to God in prayer and in songs
• he talked about his fears in an open and transparent way with those men who
were following him
• speaking out our negative fears does something to them — it exposes them and
they cannot be used against us by the enemy anymore
• our lips can speak praise instead of negative fear because the fear of the Lord
(faith) is in our hearts
• if we find we can't boast in the Lord, then ask the Holy Spirit to show us how
what it is that we fear that keeps us from focusing on God?
Step 2 - Learn to pay attention to the signals - Psa. 34 4-7
• use fear as a signal showing us that we need to seek God - verse 4
• recognize shame as a consequence of not dealing with our fear - verse 5
• acknowledge poorness of spirit as necessary for deliverance - verses 6-7
Step 3 - Choose to experience God's goodness - Psa. 34 8-10
• we cannot know the experience of turning fear into faith until we take the step of experiencing that God is good
• all of us will struggle at certain times in our lives to believe that God is good
• if our present fears outweigh our fear of God we will be immobilized
• it is hard to see God as a good God when we are living in negative fear
• to fear the Lord means we are in awe of Him and have learned to trust Him more than we fear the circumstances around us
• “those who seek the Lord lack no good thing” – v. 10
Conclusion
• Psa. 34 21 - this is a statement of fact — the evil man in this Psalm is the one dominated by his fears
• negative fears can frustrate us, inhibit us and keep us from realizing our potential in God
• in Psa. 34 22 we are given a gentle invitation by the Lord to take refuge in Him and experience His redemption
• God does not condemn us for having fears, He gave them to us to signal us of danger and to teach us to find every answer in Him
• learning to take refuge in Him for every worry, anxiety and fear opens the door to life as an adventure with God
• in conclusion then, negative fear is overcome through two principle means:
1. healing love deals with the emotional root of fear
2. believing the truth (or faith) deals with the intellectual root of the lies that feed our fears
